Dear Shooting Star,
Been idling after weeks of jobless days. Yet, this time doesn't seem to be that mundane as I've been attempting to be fruitful and happy for being not belonged or committed to things. Afterall, I hate school, not just for no reason but just hate the idea of school. Anyways, this feeling has been rooted since I was 6.
I am still in this pending mode, when things applied needs waiting and waiting and waiting.
The anticipation will be the Chinese New year and what's great for this year is that I needn't be tied down by heavy school stuffs and the paraphernalia. YES!
I'm happy that I finally cleaned and cleared my room after literally 2 months of deliberate neglect, since this room gave me bad memories of meaningless mugging for As. What's fun is that I happen to read some snippets of my diary written during my primary school days. Things that I whine is so trivial and naive. Such as the moaning of my mother's behavior which is still prevalent now. What doesn't change of the things I write in my personal diary is my tendency to pen down during turbulent periods while omitting the days when I'm in complete elation.
At some moments, I wonder if it's okay for me to just blindly pass through the days, while trying to completely forget the mistakes that I committed last year. I wondered if I've changed for the better.
:/
Unfortunately went to a multi-level marketing company and the sales associate kept reminding me of the pragmatism of the society- Money makes the world goes round. I shudder at the time when I realize how small is my network and how should I be to make myself independent, monetarily, emotionally and whatever aspects in life.
Mans, I guess this idling has made me think so much. I suppose this's natural, when I'm in a state of nothingness now.
I've noticed my likings of staring at the skies, the beautiful clouds and the sunset in a foreign land. A good way to numb the senses and marvel the beauty of nature.
Love,
Heal
